Anyway the only real interesting thing that happened was the drive home. I had just left Red Deer and I had stopped at the Doughnut Mill for a Rolo doughnut and a large coffee. I was eating the 'nut as I drove because the coffee was scalding and I was fucking hungry. It was really dark out and there was a heavy fog going. I was traveling my normal highway speed, 155-160, about 50 k over the limit, chewing on the doughnut with one hand and driving with the other.
Anyway, I was grooving along to my I Pod, having borrowed my brothers I Trip, when suddenly Elvis Costello's "My Funny Valentine" started, a song that I detest, I lamely grabbed the wheel with the doughnut hand and decided that I needed some Jane's Addiction to soothe my ravaged ears. I really wanted some "Jane Says" so I focused my attention on the I Pod, I had to do this quick in order to cut off Costello, I sub consciously knew I was driving beside a semi but I really hated this song and I really needed some Jane's Addiction. The fucking pin wheel is so hard to maneuver when you're trying to maneuver a steering wheel and I can't find the song... well the short of it is that I almost died because of other people's inconsiderate nature. Was it Costello for that shitty song? The doughnut store for there irresistible 'nut? The RCMP for not enforcing speed limits and allowing me to fall into bad habits? Steve Jobs and his shitty pinwheel? The sun for rotating far too quickly? The fog for just being there? I don't know, all I do know is that I survived due to my cunning. Survival of the fittest I suppose. It's a real shame that all the parties lack so much responsbility that the combination of this almost cost me my life.
